Managing is managing change: the mourning curve

Managing is about managing change! His own as well as that of the other. And change happens all the time, in our professional lives, as well as in our personal lives.

In the field of Interim Management, our Managers, who are true “Cape Horniers” of operational situations of change in the company, are experienced in this type of exercise. It is often one of the main challenges of their mission. The process of the mourning curve is well known to great managers: let’s remember the main principles, which are applicable in our professional and personal lives.

A reorganization, a transformation, a transfer, a promotion, but also more simply a postponement of an appointment, a “no” or just a train strike on the way home, all these examples generate in our heads the same process of change management. And this also applies in the private sphere: a family disagreement, deciding to go to a restaurant, being invited to a weekend by friends, a move or of course a death.

In all these cases, when faced with change, there are only 2 possible reactions: React or Anticipate, be turned towards the past, or look to the future.
And the gregarious attitude of each person in the face of this situation is complex, resulting from our personality, our education, our history, our environment, our mood, our desires or our constraints…

A process that is immutable to any change

However, there is one constant in all these changes: everyone necessarily goes through the same grieving curve process and its 8 stages:

THE MOURNING CURVE

The grieving curve process is immutable for any change. The only variable parameter is time, because it does not play the same for everyone, and therefore this process is more or less rapid depending on the individual.
Faced with a situation of change, some people remain stuck for a longer or shorter period of time on a stage (for example, sadness for the loss of a loved one, fear for a move, or anger for the cancellation of a dinner with friends at the last minute).

 

Only one uncontrollable variable: time!

The time it takes to pass through mourning curves is one of the major elements that differentiates individuals in their relationship with others. Some are quicker to be positive and rebuild, i.e. to move from emotion (the past) to reason, the only way to project themselves and be able to recommit to the future.
Thus, in business, a major challenge for the manager is to bring his employee into the next phase of mourning. Paradoxically, the manager’s job is to constantly generate changes in his teams, since his task is to develop and improve the company’s performance. He will then have to manage them with his employees to put them all in the acceptance and commitment phase.

 

The right attitude of the manager

To accelerate an employee’s transition through their grief curve, the manager must identify which phase they are at (or which phase they are blocked). And each phase corresponds to an attitude; It would not occur to anyone to suggest telling a person who has just lost a loved one (“refusal” or “sadness” phase, therefore still turned towards the past) that he or she will “get over it like everyone else” (attitude of the phases of reason)!
In the first phases (refusal, anger, sadness), focused on emotion, “no” and the past and reaction, the only possible attitude towards the employee is listening and empathy. He will hear nothing else, it would be in vain.
When the “fear” phase is identified, the manager can move on to explanation, to reassure, by showing solidarity.
It is only in the minimal phase of “acceptance”, at the first sign of “bargaining”, that the manager will be able to re-involve, support and be positive, because by then, the employee will have switched to reason, to “yes” and pro-activity, and will therefore be able to hear the proposals.

 

And what about the manager in all this?

The manager is also a man of emotion, so what about him? It obviously goes through the same processes. Simply, and this is perhaps one of the discriminating criteria of management; Beyond having accepted that grief is a reality, and having the necessary empathy to listen and accompany, he has above all managed this change himself more quickly, to be at least already in the acceptance phase. Thus, we can say that a condition for being able to manage others is to go through the mourning curves faster than your employees, in order to immediately be turned towards the future, to anticipate, with reason (as opposed to emotion), in a pro-active way.
Mastering this process is essential, and in my opinion is one of the main challenges of daily local management. And the process, although more complex, is similar when it comes to managing larger groups, teams, a company, companies, a country…

Benoit DURAND-TISNES
Managing Partner at WAYDEN Transition